Finding My Home Online

The internet is a strange and feral beast and even from my early experiences with it (aim chat-rooms with complete strangers) I've always been a bit uneasy with making friends on it.  As time went on my feelings about that have changed.  Yet, there's still those rare times where I get the feeling that someone just outright hates me.  Now, this post is not intended to fish for reassuring complements or loath in self deprecating anguish.  Seriously, not everyone is going to like everyone.  That's just a fact of life.  I want to talk about the vagueness of the internet.  A silly joke or poking fun of a friend could be taken seriously, it's hard to tell and the internet lends itself to passive aggressiveness.  I'd be lying if I thought from time to time that someone online just outright dislikes me.  Most of those times the evidence is, again, vague and probably misunderstood.  However it's the feeling of uncertainty that gets me.  I'm a sensitive person and it does not take too much for me to feel hurt.  Because of this I am going to make it my personal goal to be as genuine as I can online.  I know it's so easy to be something you are not online.  Hiding behind the pixels and the 0s and 1s is so tempting but faking 'it' is even more frustrating.  I've been feeling cluttered with my online presence lately, making too many promises to too many people.  Starting...well now, I have decided to change my focus a bit.  Change my 'image' to one that requires less maintenance but more work...if that makes any sense at all.  I took a break from the internet last Saturday and came back to a flood of emails, notifications, questions, etc.  The two weeks I'm about to take off will lead to who knows what... The thing I discovered from my break (which consisted mostly of me reading a book in my backyard in the sun all day) was that I need to sort my priorities out.  I need to stop worrying that people hate me.  I need to do what I want to do and create a hierarchy list of websites I give my time to.  My personal site needs to be much higher on that list then it currently is.  (Most people don't even know it exists.)

Perhaps I'm not even worried at all, perhaps I'm not upset or even care if I'm well liked or not.  Perhaps simply writing a stream of conscious blog post that will get read by very little people is therapeutic enough to put me at peace and realize that 'finding my home online' means very little.  But probably it's the anticipation of my European adventure I will leave for in less than two days.  A two week break from the internet (save email and twitter to stay in touch with my loved ones) and a chance to really experience things in a way I have not for the past month or so.  Maybe it's the open-ended-ness of my future.  Whatever it is, it doesn't matter so much. Not really.

Flights taken this year: 0 but about to change
Currently reading: Good Omens by Nail Gaiman
Subscribers: 259
Featured Craft Project: nothing, as I am about to embark on a journey and must pack light

Survey for Teenagers

If you are between the ages of 13 and 19 and have some spare time, I would love it if you would help me out by answering the following questions.  You don't have to answer any that make you uncomfortable, but do as much as you can.  This is to help me out with my NaNoWriMo novel this year as I am writing it from the perspective of a 15 year-old girl.  If you know any more teens that you think might do it as well, send it their way. I really appreciate it!  Just send your answers to my email (thecreatingcat@gmail.com) and comment on this post once you have.  Thank you so much!

Your name, your age, your gender.

Give a two or three word description of yourself.

Do you have any nicknames?

Where do you live?

Why do you live there?

What are your strengths?

What are your flaws or weaknesses?

What is the coolest thing right now?

What kind of music do you listen to?  Favorite band/artist?

What is your personal clothing style?

Do you wear makeup?

Do you wear glasses/contacts?

What do you like about school?

What do you hate about school?

What are your friends like?

Do you play with toys? What's your favorite?

What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

What is your family like?

Do you get along with them?

What type of people do you get along with?

What type of people do you not?

What do you think of the opposite sex?

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

What are your goals?

Who are your role models?

Favorite book?

Favorite movie?

If you are a youtuber:

How long have you been a 'youtuber'?

Who are your favorite youtubers?

What was your first video like?

How often do you post videos?

Do your IRL friends know about your 'youtube life'?

Does your family?

What do people think about it?

Do you ever get sick of youtube?

What's the best part about being a Youtuber?

What's the worse?

If you are a Nerdfighter:

How long have you been a Nerdfighter?

What is your favorite John Green book? Why?

How many of your IRL friends are Nerdfighters?

Ever met another Nerdfighter randomly?

How did you become a Nerdfighter?

What do your non-Nerdfighter friends think about it?

Which Hogwarts house do you most identify with?

What's the best part about being a Nerdfighter?

What's the worse?

Anything else you think I need to know about teenagers before I write my novel?

 Thank you so much for compleating this, you're a huge help!

~Jenny

Currently reading: Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Youtube Subscribers: 234
Worse thing this week: Pretty much everyone I love is going to be in Europe without me.
Best thing this week: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=171657162906111

Internet Friendships

I've had 'online friends' for years. Getting the internet was such an exciting thing for me as a kid. It meant I could find a world of people that liked the same things I did and would talk to me about them anytime. So believe me when I tell you that I'm no n00b to having 'online friends'. I am new to having online friends that I can actually see and talk to and are video creators like me. It's been a weird couple of weeks but ever since Vidcon my 'online' friendship count has astronomically increased. I believe it was partially due to the comfort of meeting these people in person first and the sense of comradery that was thick in the air. We could all be ourselves and not be judged for this one glorious weekend.

What I real want to address though is the term 'online friend' and it's stigma. At a time it was thought to be a creepy concept worthy of a visit by Chris Hansen. In the last, oh I don't know, 10 years or so it's gotten a little more respect and credibility. Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, smart phones, and such are to thank for making communicating on the internet mainstream.  The problem I seem to run up against is the canyon-like separation I feel between my friends I met (or mostly talk to) on the internet and my friends I made at school and actually see on a semi regular basis. (at least more than my so called 'online friends')  Yes, the two worlds tend to collide at times and the term IRL (in real life) is pointless because the internet is still real life, and I hate the term 'online friends' almost as much as I hate the term 'viral video' but can't seem to find a better way to explain it to my (oh dear) 'IRL' friends...

I guess my general frustration stems from the fact I'm so used to hanging out in groups (in high school, at college, parties, etc.); that to have all of these individual friends I interact with online (even though some of them tend to know one another anyways) and no place/ability to hang out with offline in a group (google+ chat rooms do not count...not like I've been invited to one yet) Yes there are BlogTV shows and such, but again, online meet-ups does not count! I guess I could just be wishing to relive Vidcon, like so many of the people who were there do. Or maybe I want all of my high school and college friends to attend Vidcon and interact with my 'online friends' and accept it and say it's cool and not weird.

I don't know why I'm having such a struggle with this.  I guess I want to make sure my 'online friendships' don't dwindle and that we don't loose contact.  It's so much easier to forget friends when you can't hang out with them in physical places. I don't want that to happen. So, to all my 'online friends' (ugg, is there a better term for you?) though I can not take you all out to coffee like I want, please let me take to you to virtual coffee. What I mean is, go bother me on one of my many online locations, go, do it now, just say hi or something or comment here. And to my old friends whom I've shared experiences with and grew up with, lets go out for real coffee sometime.  Lets not let it slip into the classic: "We never hang out, lets hang out more!" because we all know that never actually leads to any hanging out.

Keep Calm and Pottermore

I was never super into Harry Potter growing up.  Sure I read the books the moment they came out and saw all the movies in their first week.  I even dressed up to the premieres a few times.  But I never really considered myself a part of the Harry Potter fandom.  Looking back I realize that Hanson is to blame.  The first Harry Potter book came out in 1997, the same year Mmmbop was a chart topper.  I am a Hanson fan.  Always have been, always will be.  Because of my love of the brothers, I was pretty tunnel vision with my fandoms.  Harry Potter was great and all but my heart belonged to the blond boys who knew how to play music and harmonize. (Sorry boy bands, dancing does not do it for me like a guy with a guitar, drum set, piano, etc.)  Then, about a year later, the musical Cats was on my radar.  It was the perfect fandom.  Small and therefore supportive and friendly (for the most part).  The lose plot allowed for creative fan fiction, and the beauty and originality of the costumes was the best thing to draw which I did in my endless notebooks of fan art.  I realized my two big loves were classically unliked and I probably would have been much better off donning a scarf and wand rather than a wig and tail.  It did not matter though, we like what we like and should not have to apologize for it.  That being said I did get deeper into the HP fandom as the books got better and better; the last two being my favorites.  Then I found YouTube and wizard rock in the past year.  Yes, I know I'm late to the (Yule) ball but I feel like I don't have to have been there from the beginning to be a part of it.  Ever since the hype of the final movie and Pottermore I've been a non-stop Potter-obsessed nerd.  (Much to the annoyance of everyone around me.)  I joined Pottermore and even helped a friend who is a bigger Potter fan then me but had no internet that week get in.  It's been an interesting year, but I'm as excited for the new 'thing' as the next fan.  So to aid to my new obsession, I've filled out a Pottermore survey I stole from Hayley G Hoover.  Enjoy!

What's your Pottermore username? SparksRain117

What House do you think it sounds like? It could be Gryffindor or Slytherin I think.  Sparks raining down makes me think of dueling and those two are always dueling. 

What House do you want to be in? Gryffindor. My friends think I should be Hufflepuff (not sure if they think it's cause I'm nice or cause they want to make me mad.)  I've been know to eat books so Ravenclaw is an option.  Yet, I'm obnoxious and bossy and insistent on being the one in charge, so really it could only be Gryffindor.  I have no idea what I'd do if the site makes me a Hufflepuff, nothing against the badger I just would never live it down with my friends.

Does your username relate to you at all? Out of my options, 'WolfCat' seems as it would have been a closer fit (another option I had) but I really really like SparksRain!  It's like how I chose my house against what was 'obvouse' for me.  I can't always be predictable.

What kind of wand would you wish to get? Lightweight with a Unicorn hair in it I think.  Something that would be good for Transfiguration, I like Transfiguration. 

Are you pure, half-blooded or Muggle born? Half-blood I think.  My dad would defiantly be a wizard but I'm not so sure about my mom.

Which day did you get into Pottermore? Day 4.

What shape is your Patronus? An ocelot.

What does your boggart look like? Coping Haley here because it's so true.  "Like Mrs. Weasley's-- the death of someone close to me."

Would you rather be an Animagus or a Matamorphmagus? I think I'd be an animagus.  However, that could be my old desire to be an Animorph surfacing.

If you were an Animagus, what animal would you be? Some sort of feline, that's for sure.  I want to say a lion but if I wanted to be unsuspecting I'd probably be a domestic cat or a feral cat.

Thanks for reading!  Fill out the survey in the comments if you like, it'd be fun to see your responses.

TJP - Update - Collar

Hello all!

I am proud to say the first piece of my Jemima costume is finished.  The collar!  It's a found belt with metal spikes screwed into it.  Easy to make but non the less I'm still really proud of it.  I am currently working on the legwarmers and am about to buy some crepe wool for the wig.  It's been so long since I've made a Cats costume, it brings me back to when I was 14. haha.  

More updates as they come!

TheJemimaProject

Subscribers: 189

Looking Forward To: My Nerdfighter/Youtube gathering!

Not Looking Forward To: Seeing off Jim at the airport in a few weeks

The Jemima Project

So it look as if I'm back in the Cats costuming world after, what, 7 years?
I have been planning a Jemima costume for almost a year now, but due to moving more times then I had planned, the project never got started.
So today, August 1st, I am officially starting this costume.
If I can get it done by October then I'll be happy.
Now, a few notes about the project:
>I am creating every part of the costume myself.  No commissioning.  This way I get to experience the process and find out what I'm good at, what I'm great at, and what I should probably commission from other people in the future.
>I am documenting the entire process via video.  I'll post the episodes on my youtube channel here.  Please subscribe, thumbs up, and favorite! It means so much to me!
>This is a "project" so there is the chance I will fail. (aka not getting it done for Halloween or screwing up so badly I wind up losing lots of money)  I will be using theCCDB as my main source of guidance and help, so thank you in advance, CCDB members, for all of your contributions.

The thread with photos and updates will be here:
TheJemimaProject

Subscribers: 155
Currently Reading: An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
How the Youtube Playroom misspelled Jellicle: Jellickle

Days AFK

This last Tuesday I was struck ill by a virus and, despite my wishes, stayed home sick from work.  I ended up nearly bedridden for three days followed by a busy weekend which most likely prolonged my ability to get well.  Now, I am not telling you this for your sympathy, but instead to share with you a discovery.  It's no news that time away from the computer and the internet is a good thing every so often, I just had no idea how good.  For someone who spends all her free time and all her work time behind a screen of some sort, it was very hard to avoid checking YouTube and Twitter for days at a time.  I'm very glad I did.  Being unconnected was so freeing, I actually felt more creative and wanted to write more and learn more and expand my mind and experiences.  It's hard to describe, but not knowing what was going on in the internet world cured me of my writers (and creativity) block.  And no...it was not the overdose of cough syrup that propelled this surge of inspiration, simply the lack of instant digital stimuli.  I'm not saying I'm giving up the internet, not even.  The internet is a very wonderful platform I intend to be involved in for my life.  It's just nice to pretend it dose not exist a few times a year.