Last Day of Work Before Christmas Break!

Start of my day: getting to work at 6am and then (3 hours later) getting compared to Karen Allen by some guy in the break room.  I swear, this is the second time this month alone that has happened (the Karen Allen thing, not the getting to work before the suns up).  Not that I'm complaining, Karen Allen was smoking back in the Indy days (still smoking now I might add).  Its just that it happens ALL THE TIME, hahaha.  I need to start thinking up creative ways to say "Yes, I get that a lot."  I have to give my friend Kurt credit for being the first person to make the comparison, however, freshman year of college.

Today is my last day of work before going home for Christmas!!!! I am so excited.  Last night I took a bath and went to bed at 8pm to wake up at 5am.  I, of course, woke up at 4:30 too excited to sleep in more.  The rain seemed to let up just for me as I shoved way too many things into the trunk of my little Toyota Corolla and drove on a very empty street in the dark to work.  Now, at 9:30, the sun is peeking its way out of the dull gray clouds.  Oh, that was it I guess, now its hidden again.

Oh, so I've been reading all of Hayley G Hoover's blog (some random youtuber I don't actually know IRL) and in one of her posts she made fun of Cats.  It hurt my soul a little.  Hayley G Hoover, the internet goddess with literary skills to boot called the characters from Cats "crazy alien creatures" when describing what Michael Jackson looks like.  You can imagine my horror after reading those words. I could practically hear my boyfriend laughing at me in the back of my head (he HATES Cats...).  It was sad but also kind of gave me some perspective.  Everyone has things they hold dear and get 'rilled up' when someone belittles them or makes fun of them.  I mean...if you told Hayley G Hoover that Harry Potter was dumb and not worthy of it's praise and kind of boring...she'd want to slap a b*tch!  So there you have it.  To each his own.  (That was a bad example because I actually like Harry Potter, but you get the idea).


I changed the name of this blog from "Jenny's Random Thoughts" to "Jenny's Not So Random Thoughts"  'cause really, these thoughts are not random at all.  They are not well thought out pieces of literary gold, but they are specific to me and my life and the way I'm feeling.  They are things caught in the moment and preserved for later reminiscing or use in future writing or whatever.  I realize that no one may ever read it or comment and that's okay because it's for me, but it's public because...why not?


Hours Till I Get to Go Home: 5
Days till Christmas: 2

Christmas Parties and Friends

Last night I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment and I could not get a hold of the apartment manager so I had to call my roommate to come save me.  She had to leave her yoga class to do it and I felt like a 'prize idiot.'  I really thought she was pissed but later that night she offered me coffee cake with a big smile on her face.  She's either really nice...or the cake is poisoned, (just kidding).

I debated not talking about 'personal' things or...about people...'behind their backs' (or whatever) on this blog since it is public.  That's so limiting though.  It's not as if I'm going to bash people left and right, but somethings I need to express my true feelings regardless of who reads it.  I doubt the people who have appeared in my blog so far (for better or worse) even know it exists let alone actually read it.  I found out that my boyfriend does not even read this blog.  Not that I'd expect him to, he kind of hates the internet.  (Despite the fact I'm in the process of convincing him to vlog)  In fact, there's only really one person I know for sure reads this or has read at least one post here.  No one has commented though, so I have no idea if I'm speaking to just myself.  So if you are reading this, comment!

The Christmas party at Carolyn and Ben's went without a hitch.  I drove and Jim drank.  The person who shall remained un-named did not show up so the whole event was nothing but fun and friends and lots of photo taking.  (All of which was done by me and my sexy new camera.)  Seeing Tina and Franz was nice, they come as a pair now and that's cute.  I could not help but wonder if one day that will be Jim and I, breezing through town together making our friendship rounds.  It was a calm night because it did not try too hard to be something it wasn't (unlike the last party there).  The next night (last night) we were all going to go see a movie but decided last minute that we were just going to hang out at Ben and Carolyn's again.  Jim brought his uke and we had a fun sing-a-long.  This time I got to drink and downed three small glasses of wine like they were water.  A skill I can hold over Tina's head proudly, hehe.  

Tomorrow I leave for my parents home to spend a lovely five days in the OC for Christmas and I intend to do as little as possible.  Unfortunately only the Friday is paid so I'm losing some money taking the other two days off but it's worth it to be home with my family.

Subscribers: 59
Presents Wrapped : 7
Days till Christmas: 3

Spelling Woes and Holiday Stress

One surefire way to piss me off: correct my spelling.
Sure, if it's on a website I've made or a profile or something then I'll probably thank you.  There's nothing worse than a typo or a 'brain-o' making you look like an idiot to the rest of the world.  But in a text message?  Really?  That's just not necessary.  Whenever people correct my spelling it always comes off as 'higher-than-thou' and that really really pisses me off.  In the past I've gotten really mad about this.  I'd rant to them about how I have a learning disability and spelling was never something I learned, something that never came naturally and that I struggled with it every day.  The point never seemed to get across though.  Poking fun of my inability to spell words correctly without the help of that little red squiggly line, is in my top five things I can't take a joke about.  Sorry but everyone has them.  Some people don't like being laughed about for their weight, divorced parents, acne, etc.  For me, it's my learning disability.  Seriously, call me ugly, say I have no fashion sense, call me weird... I don't care what you think...but call me dumb...that's when I get truly offended.

Sorry, rant over.  Anyways, I'm trying to de-stress this week and I'm doing better than last week.  I'm a list maker and crossing things off my lists is the most relaxing thing.  So this week I've just had smaller lists.  I know that's not very productive but until after the Holidays, doing too much is not going to do anyone any good.  I know some people want me to finish certain projects asap but you know, they are just going to have to wait cause I can't deal right now.  Having the confidence to tell people to hold their horses and wait till the new years is better for me than being submissive and catering to the wills of everyone around me.  Go me!

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The above was written a few days ago...I need to stop holding off on posting blogs just because they look too small...haha.
Today is the office Christmas party...free food and drinks at some nearby place...not bad, not bad.  I would have taken another paid day off instead, but you can't win them all.  I still can't decide which day to take off.  I'm taking the 27th off and can only afford to take one other non-paid day off so it's a tie between the 28th and the 23rd.  I'm leaning towards the 23rd, but I just can't make up my mind...arggg.  I'll need to soon...

Days till Christmas: 7
Days till JelliclesVlog: 16
Ukulele cords I know: 4

Good Times Coming?

OK, first and foremost. Next to Normal is NOT a fun careless musical.  DO NOT see it if you are in a bad/depressed mood to begin with.  It is a downer and kinda creepy.  That being said, it is a very good musical. If I had been in a less bad/stressed mood when we went I probably would have enjoyed it more.  Everyone around me keeps getting more and more upset and I can literally feel their bad moods rubbing of on me.  Last night I felt like crap again.  And I hate that the first four posts of this blog are so winey and down, but this has not been a good month.  The year started off really bad and I think it wants to bookend itself or something.  Maybe that means that come new years things will change for the better, I'm just going to believe that.
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I wrote the above on Friday, I don't know why it never got posted.  *sigh* Oh well.  Anyways, this weekend was a LOT better than this last week.  On Saturday Jim and I took his sister to the big Harry Potter downtown, 'Whimsic Alley'  It was kind of perfect.  Then on Sunday I went home and did Christmas-y stuff with my parents.  Not too happy that it's Monday...but soon Monday will be a wonderful day full of vloging and such.  (Saffity called it 'five awesome jellicles'  ahahaha)

This weekend my friends Tina and Franz are visiting from Hawaii and I have missed them so much, so it will be insanely wonderful to get to spend time with them.  The plan is to go to a Red Elvises concert on Saturday and then Carolyn and Ben's Christmas Party on Sunday.  On the downside, an ex-friend might be showing up to that party.  This person hurt me pretty bad so if they show up I will not be able to refrain from starting a fight...so, I have that to look forward to.

Currently I am wearing my brand new boots and my brand new NaNoWriMo Winner t-shirt and though I have not showered, I feel awesome!

The Office: Season 5, Episode 8
Fact of the day:  a gonad is a medical term for a sex organ, not originally slang.
Days till Christmas:  11

Distracting Myself

Today I'm feeling pretty okay.  I actually made an effort and put on makeup and a dress.  (though I have jeans on underneath and my Convers...)  This is all despite the fact that last night I impulsively invited a friend over and he inexpiably spoke of things I previously made clear I never wanted to speak of again.  His inability to pick up on social cues left me dangerously close to tears and him droning on.  I doubt he reads this blog, but if he does he's sure to comment.  And to be clear, I'm not mad at him.  It's just a bad month so far and this did not help. Then I went to bed after watching about four episodes of The Office and had a dream about Dwight...not that kind of a dream...I think I was Dwight.  Anyways, tonight I'm going to see Next to Normal with my sister...so I dressed nice for work as well.

I'm getting back into the literary side of the Cats fandom again.  I took a break from my RPG and my fan fic due to NaNoWirMo and now have found myself back in the thick of them both.  The RPG is purely for fun, but the fan fic is something I kinda like...a lot...despite the simple fact of it being a fan fic and not an original piece of fiction.  It's a story I wrote at age 14 and am now re-writing it and expanding it.  My writing partner, Julie is still really into the idea as well and once I get the first 'book' done I'll post it online along with illustrations.  That's another thing I've missed.  Art.  I love drawing, and not just Cats characters.  I even got a large set of Prisma colored pencils for my birthday that I've only used once.  I need to break those out again.. That along with my new SLR I have a ton of creative projects I need to get going with.  I think that's what I need.  Distract myself from my life with pretty drawings, pictures, and words.

OH, and I'm re-reading the Harry Potter series...for kicks.

I'm trying to make some more youtube friends, but it's hard since the people who have great channels that upload consistently are too popular to go making friends left and right.  And those who want to be your friend don't make videos.  Just trying to break into one of the cliques I guess... easier said then done...in any media.

I've been reading too much hayleyghoover and so therefore...

Chapters of FF: 6
Subscribers: 58
Days till Christmas: 15

Oh, and I read italktosnakes as well and her rant about Facebook made my day:   "I'm not a zombie, or a werewolf, I dont want you to send me an easter egg or a growing mystery plant or an Edward Cullen, and I REALLY dont want your bumper stickers."

The Hits Keep Coming

It's been one scary/intense weekend.
I'm just glad everyone I love is okay and well.
I'm very thankful for those people in my life.


Without getting into details of what actually happened, lets just say it involved a trip to the ER at 5am and a life lesson.  I'm okay, I was not the one who got the ambulance ride.  The person who did is also completely fine, but I don';t think I've ever been that scared for someone in my life.  Again, nothing serous actually happened, but we did not find that out till about three hours later.


This weekend was already getting me stressed out and crying in my car and all other rock-bottom/break-down related emotions.  It's been frustrating/scary/confusing/unproductive
I'm glad it's Monday for once.  


The Holidays are so soon and I'm faced with the odd question: do I take un-paid time off for my family and remain poor...or do I work through most of it and not worry about my finances?
I'll probably take time off, but not too much.  Being in your mid-twenties is not fun, so many problems and feeling like the things you should be entitled to in your life are not guaranteed.  Then you take a step back and realize just how lucky you really are and feel guilty for complaining about the little things that have changed since college.


Soon this blog will have good news, hang in there with me.

Made up my mind

Ok.
Decided.
I know what I'm going to do with this blog.
I've had a multitude of blogs in my years on the internet.  Many livejournal blogs, a xanga, even a blog spot/blogger before...?  I've been told that I really should consolidate my online presence to be successful with online self-promotion.  Well I think this helps to avoid confusion, you also have to be able to connect with everyone on every platform.  So why have I made yet another journal online?  Why is this different from my wordpress or my tumblr or my livejournals...?  It is different because it is a public/random/writing/thing.  Or at least it will be.  My wordpress, I would say is my most professional blog on the internet.  I post projects and videos and such there.  My livejournals are purely for fun and since they have been around since freshman year of high school ('00-'01), I won't bother to link them...they are really just random. My tumblr is even more pointless... seriously.  So I guess this blog will serve as my 'second in command' blog.  It'll be more personal and a bit less 'professional' but I adore anything made by google.  (except for google buzz, what's that all about?)

What I'm trying to say is that I'll just use this blog to write whatever is on my mind, with more words than twitter and less annoying than facebook.  I won't self-promote here as much and write mainly for myself rather then the big world of the internet.  So sit back, enjoy, and feel free to comment, reply, argue, call me out on my dog poo ("Where's the poo, Robyn?"  HIMYM love!) and give me advice.  Oh, and speaking of having too many online...I don't know... outlets(?) I got one of these: about.me, whatever they are.  haha

So yeah, on with the blogging...Today has been a stressful day.  So much has happened that has stressed me out in the last two months and now this month is starting off really really...stressful.  I'm trying all of these new things and some are working out better than the rest.  And, on top of all of this, I'm sick.  I got sick December 1st.  Not good.

There are also a lot of people I miss that I have not been spending nearly enough time with these days.  People like Kristina/Sam/Jen/Carolyn/Sara/Nicole/etc.  Generally, all of the Film Society girls.  I can not believe it's been almost three years since I graduated college.  Aaaaa!  Too much time has passed and yet when I think back to college...I seem to have been so young!  Things seemed so difficult back then, but what would I give to go back...just for a week.  Without the worry of rent, work, hmm...yeah, paying bills and going to/finding work...that's really it.  I'd take homework over not having money any day.

SOMETHING just happened that has not happed since high school.  Someone passed me in the hall and said "smile." Wow, I mean...I used to get that a lot from teachers...cause I was not the most cheerful person back then, (college curred me of that though).  I'd hate to think that I'm turning back into Miss Doom and Gloom again.  =(

 Someone cheer me up!  Or at least make me better, being sick sucks...